Episode 1

"Episode 1" is the first episode of the Gayle web series, and the first episode of the first season. In this episode, Gayle introduces herself, her family, and her competitive relationship with the other housewives of Northbread.

Cast
Official cast listing adapted from YouTube description box.
 * Chris Fleming as Gayle Waters-Waters
 * Nancy Fleming as Bonnie
 * Melissa Strype as Terry Gross Waters-Waters
 * Chris Balin as Ira Glass Waters-Waters
 * Bruce Burgwinkle as Bruce Burgwinkle
 * Joe Fleming as Dave Waters-Waters (uncredited)
 * Jessie Baade as Linda (uncredited)

Other characters

 * Gayle's labradoodle (mentioned)

Plot
Gayle abruptly wakes up at five in the morning, quickly snorts some granola cereal, and then proceeds to vigorously clean her entire house. Later that day, she participates in a book club with Bonnie and Linda where the trio discuss My Sister's Keeper. Gayle is angered after Bonnie says she has been difficult to trust ever since she faked her death "last summer."

Gayle introduces her adopted son, Ira, and explains how she abducted him from a Costco "ten years ago." Gayle forces Ira cover his ears as she explains this to audience, suggesting Ira is not fully aware of his situation. Gayle then introduces her daughter, Terry, to the audience; Gayle is upset that Terry is only salutatorian at her school.

Later, Gayle passes Bruce while on a jog and expresses her lust for him. While preparing to have Bonnie and Linda over for a meal, Gayle worries about not being able to use her new cheese knives correctly. While practicing with the knives, Gayle accidentally stabs her husband in the thigh. In a panic, she and Ira use their kayak to "paddle the fuck out of there."

Notable quotes
"My name's Gayle Waters-Waters. My husband and I had the same last name but I still insisted on hyphenating it anyway."

- Gayle's second jogging monologue.

"This is my son, Ira Glass Waters-Waters. About ten years ago at Costco, I saw a sale on tandem sea kayaks —unbelieveable bargain— only problem was, my husband Dave has no rotater cuff, so I was gonna need someone else to join me in that thing to make it worth my while. That's when, as luck would have it, I see this broad-shouldered little boy perusing the juice section. So I put him in my reusable bag and raised him as my own."

- Gayle introducing Ira.

"This is my daughter, Terry Gross Waters-Waters. Premature C-section, my choice. I was sick of not being able to give it 150% in spin class, so we scooped her out super early. Best feature: planted a wireless modum in her leg, so whenever we go on vacations we get the best Wi-Fi. I'm talking Turks and Caicos, DR, Barbados— you name it, we've been there, best signals."

- Gayle introducing Terry.

"Jesus Christ, I'd give up all the risotto in the world for thirty minutes with that slice of pumpkin pie. I'd tear that thing up like a corn-on-the-cob."

- Gayle lusting after Bruce.